30 by 30 Update 1

Back in August I wrote this post about 30 things I want to do by the time I turn 30.

The List:

 Run a half marathon, the Warrior Dash, and the Color Run.

Take a road trip by my lonesome and stop whenever I want.

 Take ball room dancing lessons.

Find my go to Karaoke song.

Have baby number 3.

Turn an internet only friend into a real life friend.

Ride in either a Hot Air Balloon or a Helicopter, maybe both, not at the same time.

 Have a large vegetable garden and keep it alive.

Do a family hike and camp out trip.

Write letters and send picture regularly to family.

Learn how to really play the guitar.

Go someplace I need a passport for.

Visit Niagra Falls.

 Tour the "mormon" trail.

Catch up on all my scrapbooking.

Ride a horse again.

Participate in a flash mob.

Volunteer regularly

Take the kids to Disney World

Visit Harry Potter world

 Do an anniversary photo shoot for our 10 year (kinda like an engagement shoot)

 Paint all the rooms in the house.

Attend a giant music festival (bonnaroo?)

Have Blue/Turquoise hair… this is gonna happen!

Fill out our family tree book for the kids.

Train my dogs so they don't drive me crazy.

Go white water rafting with Handsome, this time on the same raft as my hubby ;)

Write in my journal weekly at least.

Get a gun license and learn to use the dang thing.

Read start to finish all the Scriptures. (Old and New testament, BOM, D&C and PoGP)

I have yet to actually accomplish ANYTHING on my list, and I've only got a year and half left.

That is... UNTIL TODAY!

I actually was able to cross off number 6 on my list and turn an internet friend into a real friend. A good friend (who I met online) needed a ride from Owensboro, Kentucky to the Nashville Airport, and I was able to give her that ride! I LOVE driving and road trips, so I didn't mind the drive at all, and once I got my friend, we talked NON STOP until she had to pass through security at the airport to make her plane. It was so much fun to be able to meet her, and to find out that we have so much in common.

Along with number 6, I'm currently working on a few other items on my list. Number 5 will happen the last week of May. I'm going to start a veggie garden here in the next few weeks (8) and I'm running the color run on March 30th (1.) There are a few things I won't be able to actually cross off, thanks in part to baby  number 3. But that's okay. I'll find replacements for them that are just as exciting.

I'm just excited to have actually taken one small step to accomplishing this huge goal! YAY!

Getting Back in the Game!

Handsome has been asking me for a while to start couponing again. I've done it for years, but when we moved into our house last year, I really dropped the ball and I haven't picked it back up in the past year. We have done a couple things recently to help save us  money on our grocery bill, but we need a bit more help.

So I have spent the past two days slowly clipping coupons and reorganizing my binder to get back into the game. I'm surprised at how many coupons I've actually saved recently. My binder is more full than I expected. So I've gone through a couple of my favorite websites (SouthernSavers.com is a great one) to help me match my current coupons with the current sales and I made one grocery list for the things that we can use. (I try not to get anything I won't actually use. There are some great deals out there, but it's stuff we'd never use, so what's the point in wasting my time on it?) Grocery list no. 1 done.

Then I went through our WIC vouchers (I spread them out through the month) and made a shopping list for them. Grocery list no. 2 done.

Then I made a meal menu plan keeping in mind what was on my first two grocery lists (I do plan out dinner every night, then just make a list of ideas for breakfast and lunch.) Then I thought through those recipes and made Grocery list no. 3.

(BTW, here's a couple recipes We're gonna try out the next couple weeks!)
Beef and Cheddar Casserole
Chicken Pot Pie
White Bean Chili

In all, I'll probably be going to three or four different stores, and shopping off my three separate grocery lists. I'm hoping to keep my total under $100. Not bad for two weeks worth of groceries for our family of 4. (Also, when I know ahead of time what's for dinner every night, and have a list of ideas for breakfast, lunch, and even snacks planned out as well, We spend MUCH MUCH MUCH less on eating out/fast food. Which helps save money as well!) But I know I can do better. We're hoping to get to the point where our monthly grocery spending is between $100 and $150. We'll see if I can get there. Like I said before, it's gonna take me another month or two or three before I really start saving extra money from the couponing. You've got to build up your stock not only of coupons, but also of the things you buy regularly.

Either way, It feels great to have a game plan for everything. Now I just have to find the time and energy to actually DO the shopping! Wish me luck!

Valley

In exciting new news, we're having another girl. I should have realized... It was destiny. We're all way excited. We know girls, and we make some cute ones, so I'm not worried.

In other news, I'm in a valley. I've been here since Saturday. Sometimes I feel and think that it's looking back up, but it's not yet. I'm still here. I know this will happen from time to time. It just sucks. I'm happy... I really am. I'm so blessed in so many ways and I'm so grateful for those blessings. But it's like someone has flipped the switch and the light is not shining.

I'm feeling very alone, which is normal for these valleys. Handsome even told me last night that when I get like this I pull away emotionally from everyone, which just makes the loneliness even worse. And it's true. I don't know if it's a defense mechanism or what. I tried to explain to him that I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed about the anxiety and depression. I'm embarrassed about all the negative thoughts I have in my head constantly.

Anyone who had someone following them around constantly harassing them would have a hard time. That's what I feel like. Only, it's not like someone's just telling me I'm weird or ugly or making fun of me. It's so much more serious, and made even worse, because it's me. I'm telling myself these things. And I know it's not true. Depression lies. I know this. But still, having to CONSTANTLY have these thoughts bouncing around in my head is hard.

This valley I'm in is stunting everything. All the good emotions I should be feeling right now. I feel like I'm holding this pregnancy at arms length away. I can't emotionally open up to it. I'm still having a hard time processing the fact that I'm having another child. It's almost like I'll wake up and it will have all been a dream.

I'm trying lots of things to get me out of this funk. I'm trying to make sure I leave the house, whether it's just to volunteer at school or go grocery shopping. Having a reason to get dressed is good. I'm also trying to make sure I keep busy, cleaning and doing things and not just sitting playing x-box or the wii or something (but I am allowing myself breaks to stop and relax a second and play a bit.) I want to start walking daily too. But it's so cold, I'm not sure if I can do that one right now, especially with the asthma. But even with trying these things, it doesn't feel like the fog is lifting yet. And I don't really know what else to do other than just keep trying and wait for it to leave. I know it will. It always does. Just like it always comes back. But atleast there is usually some peace to be found in between.

I know the sun is shining just on the other side of the clouds... I just can't see it right now. All I can do is wait til I can see it again.