I have been in a funk for quite a while now. Usually they don't last quite this long. I'm generally able to pull myself out of the funk by now, but for some reason I haven't been able to yet. It probably has to do with my crazy schedule at the moment and this stupid cold I've been fighting for a while...
But I feel like I've been buried alive. And I'm suffocating. I can't hardly even think from one moment to the next what I'm supposed to be doing, and that has lead to either too much or not enough sleep and me hardly eating at all. I've always been the kind of person who only eats when I'm hungry, but when I'm hungry... LOOK OUT. I haven't been hungry in quite a while. I can go most days without eating at all, but I have to cook dinner for my family, so I usually will at least eat that meal.
I don't know what to do to pull myself out this time. Nothing is helping, and some things I can't do because of circumstances at the moment, like exercise. I can't physically exercise right now because I'm constantly on the verge of an asthma attack thanks to this stupid cold. I get winded from simply walking up and down the stairs... I'm not about to step outside in the humidity and attempt to go running... or walking for that matter.
I haven't been able to clean my home... yes I can pick it up and keep the general living areas okay enough... but I cannot wrap my head around the idea of cleaning. There's too much to do and not enough time or energy or focus and it's all so discouraging... I just avoid it all together.
I don't feel like writing. I have to force myself to write out my daily articles for the website and I have no more words left over after those 2,500... and it makes me a bit sad because writing used to help tons.
I need something to look forward to. Something to pull me back in. But everything I think of only makes me more anxious and depressed. It may be a bit before I get back into writing regularly, but hopefully I'll be able to come out of this funk soon and come back to reality. I really need to.
Sorry sweetie, just try to keep moving it will get better, and in the mean time the girls and I will keep the videos coming...
ReplyDeleteIts okay. Sometimes your only job is breathing. I'll be thinking of you and sending you prayers on little threads of light.
ReplyDeleteSmiles, girl, we're all pulling for you.
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to send you a Halloween card next month? That could give you something to look forward to...
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a magic rope or maybe flying carpet that would just yank you up and out of the hole. I am sorry I don't. But you know we're all sticking with you while you deal with this.
*virtual hugs*
ReplyDelete*snuggles*
ReplyDeleteHave you been tested for walking pneumonia? The upstairs downstairs wheezing sounds like what I had, as does the suffocating buried alive unable to breathe feeling. Ugh, thought that would NEVER go away...but it did, and your cold (or wp) and funk will too. Maybe family dinner could be depression chicken pot pie? :)
ReplyDeleteNo words of wisdom here. I've just pulled out of one that went on for a couple months, and I have no idea why it finally decided to head off again. I'm trying to give mine an identity, but so far I've only gotten as far as deciding he's obviously male, because he's so scuppering selfish, and clearly she's female, because she's a massive bitch and can't make up her mind how she wants me to react from one minute to the next. Also, it's an elephant tranquillizer because it makes me want to sleep all the time. **big hugs**
ReplyDeleteHugs and support coming your way. I was in such a funk a few months ago and wish I had advice or what have you. All I have is "I understand". My house was a mess. I was a mess. But I am thankful my hubby and little son stuck by me. I somehow got out of the black cloud but I keep telling myself, next time I will see this cloud coming and stip it. And suddenly I am drowning and miserable. It sneaks up on me and overtakes me.
ReplyDeleteSo...I hope you "see the sun" soon!