Tunisian Crochet Afghans

Baby and me are both doing well. But I've had way more contractions this time around than I ever did with the first two, and my doctors have put me on a partial bedrest... Kinda. 

Since I'm not supposed to be up as much, doing all that I usually do, I've started crocheting like crazy again. I even taught myself a new type of stitch, Tunisian crochet! For those who don't know, it's almost like crocheting and knitting combined just a bit. You put all your stitches on your hook, like you do with a knitting needle, then you work them back off. 

I found a ton of great links and videos to help me learn how to do it all.

http://crochetingthedayaway.blogspot.com/2011/10/tunisian-crochet-how-to-basic-tunisian.html

* This link taught me how to do the basic stitch. There were a few others that I also looked at to make sure I was able to get the hang of it, but this one was the most easy for me to follow.

http://ahandmadeyear.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/crochet-graph-pattern-making-tutorial/

* This link taught me how to make my own graph patterns. Tunisian crochet makes it really easy to crochet graphs. You can create basically anything, if you have a graph to follow. So I used this link to help me figure out how to make those graph patterns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbupvlYzq_U

* This video helped me figure out how to change colors while crocheting. You can't simply just change colors quite as easily with Tunisian crochet as you can with normal crochet. But this video helped me to figure it out. 

In the past three or four weeks, I've made four afghans, and I have orders to make at least 4 more already... possibly 5 or 6 if some friends were serious about wanting them. I also have a couple patterns I worked up for myself that I want to try out. I made a Tardis one, since I have a recently acquired Doctor Who addiction. And I also am going to make a Beyonce one in honor of the bloggess! I may end up sending those to some special friends when I make them. We really don't need anymore blankets around here. 

Anyways... Here's the ones that I have done so far.

***This University of Tennessee Vols afghan I made for Chris for his birthday last month. He slept with it every night for a week... Which made me feel awesome! I think he actually really likes it. And this was my first actual attempt at Tunisian Crochet and I think it turned out really well.

***This was the second blanket I made. It's kinda hard to read the E, but it's for a very special friend and her new little girl. I haven't had a chance to send it yet (thank you pregnancy issues) but I'll get it sent soon. I hope she likes it.

***This afghan I made for my niece for her 6th birthday. When my nieces and nephews saw Chris's afghan, they asked me for ones for them, so I'm going to slowly go through and make one for each one of them. Hopefully I'll be able to get them done over this next year. They work up pretty quickly (this one only took about 2 1/2 days.) So hopefully they won't take me too long.

*** This afghan I made for my nephew (GO TITANS!) He asked for a T like the one I made for my husband, but he wanted blue on it I think... or maybe he said red. Either way, I got the idea to do a titans one. It was fun to create the patter on this one and put it all together. I LOVE how it turned out. And I hope he loves it. 

Anyways, I am taking orders for afghans. I can work up nearly any image/symbol/initials/monograms... whatever, and can ship anywhere in the US and Canada. For more information, you can check out my Facebook page here: This Mama Is Crazy. 

Pricing and Sizes:

Tunisian Afghans

Newborn (24"x30") $30

Baby (30"x36") $35

Toddler (36"x42) $40

Kid (42"x48") $50

Lapghan (36"x48") $45

Adult (48"x72") $70

Paralyzed

I am stressed to the max at the moment and when that happens, I stop doing everything, letting the to do list pile up and only increasing the stress level to the point where I explode and implode and it's all just a holy mess.

When I get like this, it usually ends one of two ways.
1. I get horribly sobby and hormonal and freak out on everyone and about everything until I give up on most of my to do list, making me feel like poop and starting a bad funk that takes me quite a while to get out of.
2. I get PISSED at myself for doing this all again and decide it's time I kick ass and get some crap done.

So... I am up tonight doing number 2 (No... not that number 2!). I have a few things written down that I am going to get done and I'm not going to bed until I do them. This could mean that I will be up into the wee hours of the morning. Actually, it definitely means that. Lucky for me, the girls have school tomorrow. So perhaps, if I get things ready enough, Handsome can get the girls off to school in the AM and I can maybe sleep in an extra hour or two before heading off to an appointment.

I'm hoping I can manage it. Sometimes the fire that gets lit under my behind tries to fizzle out. But all I have to do is look at that list again and I'm right back at being pissed that I have yet again failed to do the things I feel are necessary.

Do not think that this list is crazy crap and that I'm some sort of perfectionist. I'm not. I try to be realistic. The dishes need washing. The clothes need folding. The bills need paid. My work needs written. My goals need met. I don't expect to scrub every baseboard and finish every little sewing project I have in mind.

Yes, maybe I tend to overload myself... but if only myself was a bit more organized, I feel as if I could accomplish this all with no problem. There are plenty of hours during the day to do it, but as I said, I'm not organized, which is weird for a Virgo who LOVES to organize.

But I need to have a clean, steady home before I feel comfortable planning my time, and I can't have a clean home because I can't find the dang time to do it. It's a vicious cycle and I'm hoping I'll figure it all out one day.

For tonight though, I'm going to stay as pissed as I can. Angry cleaning is the best cleaning there is after all. Hopefully I can keep it up.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Some Videos and a Link

I apologize that I haven't posted since Sunday. I'm still trying to get used to the girls being in school, writing my articles on www.dailybubble.com and just life in general.

Today, I'm a bit emotional... thank you hormones. Just what I needed. Any thing I would write today would probably only end up with me "going off" or me going into stuff y'all don't want to know anything about... Anyways... I'm not going to write too much today. Just share some stuffs.

My baby brother got engaged a little while ago. He re-wrote a popular song and sang it to his lady ;) Kinda cute.

 

He also sang "I'm Your's" before he sang the proposal song... 

(This song has a special place in my heart. My brother sang it to me at my baby shower when I was pregnant with my first little girl!  Also, both of those boys are my baby brothers ;) They're not too shabby huh?)

I found this hilarious video today about the town I grew up in... I'm not sure if it'd be funny to anyone except people who know the area, but I'm sharing it anyways... I'm proud of my hometown!

If you notice in the previous videos of my brothers, they're singing at "The Streets of Indian Lake" in front of that restaurant that's been closed for over a year! lol. I love H'ville!

And lastly, I'm hosting a 31 party for a friend of mine. This friend is awesome and has a crazy month ahead of her. My party is closing on Monday, but if you all are interested in a bag or something, please check out this site and help us out ;) I'll owe you big time!

Click here for my 31 party!

Thanks y'all! Have a great weekend!

30 by 30

With my birthday coming at the end of this month, I have decided to create a small bucket list. I will be 28 this year, so that leaves 2 more years in my 20's. I made this little list of things to do before that 30th birthday gets here. So here ya go...

30 by 30

1.  Run a half marathon, the Warrior Dash, and the Color Run.
2. Take a road trip by my lonesome and stop whenever I want.
3.  Take ball room dancing lessons.
4. Find my go to Karaoke song.
5. Have baby number 3.
6. Turn an internet only friend into a real life friend.
7. Ride in either a Hot Air Balloon or a Helicopter, maybe both, not at the same time.
8.  Have a large vegetable garden and keep it alive.
9. Do a family hike and camp out trip.
10. Write letters and send picture regularly to family.
11. Learn how to really play the guitar.
12. Go someplace I need a passport for.
13. Visit Niagra Falls.
14.  Tour the "mormon" trail.
15. Catch up on all my scrapbooking.
16. Ride a horse again.
17. Participate in a flash mob.
18. Volunteer regularly
19. Take the kids to Disney World
20. Visit Harry Potter world
21.  Do an anniversary photo shoot for our 10 year (kinda like an engagement shoot)
22.  Paint all the rooms in the house.
23. Attend a giant music festival (bonnaroo?)
24. Have Blue/Turquoise hair… this is gonna happen!
25. Fill out our family tree book for the kids.
26. Train my dogs so they don't drive me crazy.
27. Go white water rafting with Handsome, this time on the same raft as my hubby ;)
28. Write in my journal weekly at least.
29. Get a gun license and learn to use the dang thing.
30. Read start to finish all the Scriptures. (Old and New testament, BOM, D&C and PoGP)

My brain may just pack up and leave me. It's already distancing itself...

I'm a bit on overload at the moment. I realized today that I am keeping so busy, I'm becoming a bit numb. Too much to do, hence too little time to sit and really think about things and work on stuff that needs dealing with. School started today for the girls. I got a job writing for DailyBubble.com. I'm crocheting and sewing and drawing and cleaning and helping a friend plan her wedding. And I'm trying to work on me. Okay... so I've been avoiding that last one. After a couple very intensely emotional weeks, I needed a break. But I kinda went extreme with it and won't allow myself to really get emotional over anything. It's not smart, and this whole busy bee thing will only lead to a crash and a funk if I don't watch it and ensure that I'm taking care of myself during it all. (UGH, I'm trying to remember all the things I talked about with the therapist today, and I can't remember it all... I wonder if he'd mind if I started taking notes.)

So, my brain is getting aggravated with me, I'm sure. I'm kinda tuning it out and shutting it off and just going through motions without feeling or thinking. Some of that is good. The bad thoughts need to go. But, that doesn't mean the good have to go with them. And in all honesty, some of those bad thoughts are necessary and can lead to good enlightened thoughts when dealt with the correct way... by figuring out why they're there and how to refashion them or praying for inspiration on how to fix them. That may be very vague... did anyone get that?

SO, I've been writing alot. Over 2500 words a day actually. But it's all celebrity news for the DailyBubble.com (Go check them out and tell your friends... Please? Thanks!) That's a bunch of words though. And that does not include facebook and twitter... this blog... or my narrative. The last two I need to work on much more... and probably will focus more on them next week while the girls are gone to school. This whole writing all the time thing is never something I really thought I'd do, but it kinda fits in some ways.

A decade ago it seems like all I did was write. I wrote notes constantly in High School, plus, you know, school work. I also constantly wrote poetry and stories (most were very dark and kinda disturbing now that I look back on them.) And when I wasn't writing that kind of stuff, I kept journals. I was actually VERY thorough with them, right up until I met my husband and we got married and all that jazz. I even have a list in one of them of every boy I've ever kissed. I started it when I was 14 and had my first kiss. Not sure it's the hubs favorite, but all that matter is his name is last on it, right?

Okay... So, I used to write ALOT. I have actually kept alot of it too. I have all my poetry and stories, I've kept all my journals, and I've even kept some letters and notes from high school. A part of me feels like there's a reason to keep them. I feel a need to share my story, if for nothing else than to put it in writing so that I personally can learn from it. Once I can put words to emotions and events, I can take them and figure them out, pick them apart, try and learn whatever it is I'm supposed to learn from them.

Okay... so... the point of this post... I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off because I'm trying to avoid feeling... that directly affects the blog and my narrative because they're usually all about feeling and issues and such. So, I'm going to remember to BREATHE. To take care of myself. To take advantage of those moments when I get lost in housework and such, but also allow for moments of feeling, whether it's good or bad or ugly. I'm going to work more on the 'for me' writing. And hopefully my brain won't hate me and punish me with a funk. Hopefully.

What would you do with your last day on earth?

(Sorry for not blogging... I told you school is starting... I'll be better about it all once that starts)

I was recently asked "What would you do with your very last day on earth, if you could go anywhere and do anything?"

Warning: My answer may bore the snot out of you... and you might not understand some of it if you're not LDS.

I have thought about this for the past 2-3 days... whenever the post was put up.  And I have come up with a few answers... Some make me pretty emotional. But as I've been thinking about it all, I tried to figure out what are my happiest memories. So here goes...

I would want to start my last day on a beach in the gulf coast. Something a little remote, cause I want this moment to be private. I want to sit and watch my hubby and our girls run and splash around and enjoy the sunrise and the rays on our skin and the dolphins off in the distance and the sounds of the water crashing onto the sand. I want to chase after them and have tickle wars and try and dunk Handsome and just enjoy my family in one of the most beautiful, relaxing places I've ever been.

Next comes food... at my mama's house. Everyone knows that nobody can cook like a southern mama. (Hence PAULA DEEN!) My mama is one of the best cooks EVER. Of course the menu would consist of Fried Okra, Fried Chicken (with her homemade honey mustard), Cucumber salad, Cornbread salad, maybe some of Big Mama's old recipes, and tons of other southern dishes. Oh, don't forget the sliced home grown tomatoes. (My mouth is watering just thinking about all of this food.) I would eat until I couldn't move.

I would go to the Nashville, TN LDS Temple where me and my Handsome were married and sealed for time and all eternity. I'd want to sit inside with him and talk about all our best memories... His crazy notes when we were dating, No lines at Disney World on our honey moon and then getting so sun burnt we couldn't move, our apartments, our home, Sady, our girls... How tiny they used to be, t-bone's "Ice", Moo's Buddha belly, how smart and beautiful they are... and forever - spending eternity with each other.

I would end my day on my mama's front porch... wrapped up in a blanket like she used to do with me when I was little and having troubles breathing. Me, Handsome, and our girls, would sit and watch the sun set and I would tell each of them how much I love them and why. And my day would end snuggled up with Handsome at home in bed.

Now that my eyes are all blurry and my throat is achy from trying not to cry... I want to ask you too, What would you do with your last day on Earth?  It can be anything... Handsome would go to Ireland to visit where his family came from. He'd want to experience as much of this world as he could in his last day of mortality. But what about you... Would you stay with what's comfortable? Spend time with family? Or do something you've always wanted, but never been able to? Like SkyDiving?

Also... I reserve the right to edit my answer at anytime ;)  There may be something awesome I'd want to do that I haven't thought about... Like maybe parasailing while we're there on the beach in the gulf... Yeah... I'd do that too.  Okay... Your turn!

Roger, the bird

We went to my parents house Saturday for a HUGE AWESOME event that I'm not allowed to talk about yet... if you're curious, ask me and I'll probably tell you (privately.) And when we pulled up and got out, I saw this little guy sitting in front of the garage door.

His name is Roger and he had a broken wing.

I called about 10 different places trying to find something open on a Saturday to take him in and get him help. Most places said they'd only euthanize him. Not an option for me. He seemed so healthy and lively... If he had looked bad, then yes, I think that would have been the compassionate thing to do. But Roger wanted to grow up. He has hopes and dreams man. (not sure Roger is a boy, but for the sake of this blog... he is. Plus I think he's so pretty, and aren't boy birds usually prettier than girl ones?)

Here you can see how he was holding his wing out.  It was so sad. Poor little guy was in pain for sure, but he was a fighter, a survivor. He's the most awesome bird ever.

We fed him some crackers (crumbled gold fish maybe?) I think he totally enjoyed them! We had to wait forever for a rehab center to finally call me back so we could take him there (it was a good 30 minutes or more from my parents house, which was already a 45 minute drive up there.) After a while, I was afraid of him getting dehydrated so we found this medicine dropper. At first he would NOT open that cute little beak of his. After a few times of putting the dropper up to his beak though, he learned that the water would come, and very quickly became enthusiastic about it. The second the saw that dropper he was like a newborn baby bird to a mama. His beak would open as wide as it could and he'd stretch that tiny neck up to get some water. It was so sweet. Roger definitely melted my heart.

He's great at taking photos also. 

Anyways, we left Roger (and a donation) at Walden's Puddle, an animal rehabilitation center here in Tennessee. They take in almost any animals native to Tennessee and some that aren't. I sat and talked with the girl at the desk for quite a while and learned all about their education program, where they travel around middle Tennessee teaching about the native animals. They have some special animals they take around with them also, including owls, raccoons, opposums, hawks, turtles, snakes, etc. I'm going to try to get something set up at my girls school and see if we can't get them to do an exhibit there this school year.

Anyways, Walden's Puddle does not charge for their services and they don't receive any Federal or State funding... it's all donations people. So if you have a few "doll hairs" you can spare, why don't you send them their way.  You can set up monthly donations or make a one time donation for any amount. I'm sure Roger will appreciate it!

I'm not sure we'll see Roger again. They were going to wrap him up to let his wing heal, then rehabilitate him back to the wild and then finally send him out into this wide world again. But I'm glad to know he'll be okay. Good Luck out there Roger!

UPDATE! My Love/Hate Relationship with Crochet

I love to crochet. I really do. I've been doing it since I was 5 and it helps my (undiagnosed) ADD. When I'm crocheting I can actually sit still for more than 10 minutes without being in front of a computer screen. I think I'm pretty good at crocheting. I can usually create my own patterns, and if not, I have yet to meet a pattern I couldn't work.  

Why do is this relationship a love hate? MY WRISTS. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. After an hour or two of crocheting, My hands and wrists are killing me. It's not fair. I want to crochet, but it can hurt. I heard once that typing can help balance the wrists out so there. My game plan (while I crochet a blessing dress for a friend's newborn) is to crochet, then write, then crochet, then write, then crochet... and on and on and on until the blessing dress is done (and maybe I've started on my book.) 

Anyways, Here's what I made last night. Also - These two pictures were both taken on the same flooring in my bedroom... What the heck? That carpet should be the same color!

Here's a newborn owl beanie! I really like it. I may have to make one for myself!

And here's a baby cocoon for the newborn photo shoot for my friend. Maybe I'll be able to post some pictures later with the baby actually in it.

Laters!

*****UPDATE*****
Here's a photo of the cutest baby in the world in the beanie I made for her!

Also, you should go and like nu image studios on Facebook. They're amazing. And if you're anywhere in the Knoxville to Nashville area... Give them a call for all your photo needs!

The "Shirt" Skirt

Here is my moo.

She is wearing her "shirt" skirt. You may be wondering what in the world is a "shirt" skirt. Well, It's a skirt that is actually a shirt. (She's holding up the sleeves of the shirt!)

About a year ago, we gave Moo (Mad-dog, whatever you want to call her) all of T-bone's hand-me-downs and this shirt was included. It's a real cute, satin, peasant cut top. Moo IMMEDIATELY loved this shirt, but would only wear it around her waist as a skirt (the neck of the shirt has elastic in it, so it will fit around her waist.) At first I kept getting on to her for it. She was ruining a super cute shirt, one of my favorites for her to wear. After fighting over this for a couple months, I finally realized that it was just a shirt... or just a "shirt" skirt. I gave in and let Moo start wearing this shirt as her favorite skirt. And she wears it ALL the time! Instead of fighting and us both getting annoyed and frustrated, I let her wear it, but only around the house. And ONLY when it's clean... that's the biggest issue now. I have to wash it at some point!

Also, I realized as I was taking a picture of the "shirt" skirt that Moo had put on numerous shirts while she was dressing herself.  

Yup, there are 4 different shirts on that girl... 5 counting her skirt. I love my crazy little girl. 

 And while I was taking these photos off my iPod for this post, I found this photo on there... 

and about 50 more just like it. I guess some one was playing with Mommy's iPod earlier today! At least this was kinda cute!

1st Annual Mommy Blogger Scholarship

So, I just found this on Twitter...

The 1st Annual Mommy Blogger Scholarship

(please note the badge on the right side of this blog... it may be towards the bottom)

As a new "mommy blogger", I think this scholarship thing is AMAZING and just finished my application. I wanted to share a bit of it with you if you don't mind...

The very last question on the application was

"What do you need most as a mother?"

And my response?

Charity - pure unconditional love.

I need this from the mothers around me - Do not judge me because I don't mother the same way you do. Do not judge me because my kids get high fructose corn syrup. ;) Love me because we are sisters. Love me because we both understand what it feels like to have our hearts and souls walking around outside our bodies. Love me because I need to know that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one who's ever just thrown a towel on a pee stained bed and waited til morning to take the sheets off, that I'm not the only one who has gotten so frustrated at my kids I wanted to drop kick them. I need to know that I'm not the only one who would lose it all if I ever lost my children.

I need Charity from my children. I need for them to love me no matter what. Love me when I lose my patience. Understand that I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best. Love me when I struggle to get off the couch to make them breakfast. Love me because I tease them about being zombies and bite their pudgy little cheeks. Love me for making them stick to their responsibilities and for not doing things for them that they can do for themselves.

I need This kind of love from my husband. I need him to support me... again understand that I'm not perfect. I need him to feel just as passionately about me as I do him. I need him to realize that the number one way to take care of our children is to take care of each other. I need him to be forgiving when the dishes and laundry aren't done. I need him to not care about the chaos of having 9 of our nieces and nephews spend the night, and for him to jump in and play right along with me and the kids. I need him to love me in spite of my depression and anxiety, my constant questioning of him. I need him to love me for my craziness. I need to know he will always be there, right beside me, supporting me, as I support him.

I need Charity from myself - and this is the hardest one of all.  I know my faults, my weaknesses, my desires, how often I give in, how often I feel guilt. I don't feel worth of those around me, my friends, my family, my children, my husband - heck even my house and my dogs. Being able to love myself regardless of all these things is one of the hardest at all, but the most desperately needed. You must love and take care of yourself in order to love and take care of others. It's not being selfish... it's appreciating this wonderful gift of life that you've been given. It's hardest to be compassionate and understanding with yourself, but it's the most crucial. This is something I have been learning over the past few months, and have tried to include in my blog. It's something I want other mothers/women/girls/humans to realize.

Love is what I need most. With that love from those around me and myself, I can do what I need to do to be the mother/woman/human I want to be (not perfect, but trying my hardest.)

If you are also a fellow mommy blogger, go check out the scholarship and apply.  It couldn't hurt, right?

My first vlog... Don't make fun

So I was driving home today and had so many things in my mind about my blog, so I figured before I forgot it, I'd just video tape it!!!

 And thus, my first vlog was created!

(You can make as much fun of me as you want... just don't do it where I can here you! You will hurt my heart if you do. And then I'll punch you in yours. (Why are little people so violent? Seriously... I don't know why we are... I just know we are!))

I just got home about an hour ago and I have to say that I LOVE my kitchen.  

I'm trying to get the photos of it from my iPod to my computer but for some reason they're both stupid at the moment and I can't get it done... so I just tweeted one of the photos and I'm hoping I can get it on here from there...

FINALLY... That only took my like 20 minutes. GOSH!

Anyways... About my therapy thing today... There is a traumatic event in my past that I need to get over. My therapist is having me write it all down in extreme detail and we're going to go over and over and over it until it loses it's power. It's a GREAT plan and I can't wait to get to the end of this plan where this event doesn't bother me anymore... but it's SO hard to get started.  Just thinking about this event makes me sick to my stomach and makes my skin crawl... trying to write down every detail at the moment seems impossible. But I know I'll get there... Like I said in the video, my therapist said every writing session is going to wear me out mentally and emotionally so I'll need to be ready to do something to lift my spirits afterwards... any ideas?

Welp, I'm gonna go watch 21 Jump Street now with my wonderful Handsome while our little girls sleep in their own beds for the first time in over a week. Night y'all!

Raw

So, I can't bring myself to write this post. My emotions have been severely raw because of some therapy stuff and I realized I've been hiding these emotions from everyone, including myself.

I need to be honest and open and real about it all, but I can't at the moment. Beginning would only bring hours of tears and heartache and I'm not ready to face it right now... I'm kinda sick... Physically... and that makes the mental and emotional stuff only that much harder.

I also am staying at my mom's and dad's right now and I'm surrounded by prying eyes.  Not that my family pries, but me having an emotional breakdown with everyone watching is not ideal.

So yeah... My emotions are crazy raw and I'm trying to find the strength to be honest.  It's not coming yet, but I'm admitting that I need to get there... That's a step in the right direction, if only a baby one.

But be prepared, at some point the words will start to flow and I don't think I'll be able to hold them back.

Ready, Set... DRAW

So, last night I picked up some pens and paper and started drawing and I have hardly stopped all day. 

I'm making name prints for family and friends and I'm thinking about maybe opening up an etsy shop for them... If I do, I have so many different crafts I make, I wonder what in the world I would call my shop.

Anyways... Here's some of the stuff I've done today.

These are using a Bug/Insect theme.

This next one I did using a Sea theme. I think it's one of my favorites.

Here is a kite theme. I'm thinking about doing a few more cute quotes and sayings.

Flowers!

And my last one of the night... Safari. 

As soon I have the chance, I'll open up that shop and get this thing going... maybe making some extra cash ;) 

I did start a Flickr account for stuff, and I'll be adding more pics of new themes there. 

Check them out here!

Either way, All this drawing has helped to relieve some of the funk I've felt over the past few days. (some very sweet messages from friends and family have helped too. Thanks to those who I've talked to or who have written me. You've been great help.)

A warning

It's been a long time since my last post... there's much to say. But I'm not ready to say it yet. I'll have to get my thoughts clear first. Until then...

We've had some nice weather so we've been leaving the door opened. Because of this, we've had a million flies move into our house. So I've been on a killing spree with a fly swatter in hand. I got this one...

Can you see it? Up there on the wall above the tv near the ceiling?

Here's a closer pic.

I asked Handsome if he would get up there and clean the guts off the wall.

His suggestion is to leave them up there as a warning to all the other flies who have entered into our home. 

This is why I love that man!

Cleaning is good for the soul

I woke up this morning feeling like the pooh... and I don't mean Winnie.

(Yes, I like my jokes extra cheesy.)

(And sometimes dirty.)

My home has been a MESS lately and though I've had the desire to clean it, I could never quite get to that point mentally or physically. I was overwhelmed by it all and just couldn't make myself do it.

Today I did it. For the most part... the kitchen and some laundry is all that is left and it feels good. I've heard the saying over and over again that cleanliness is next to Godliness. And I completely believe that is true.  In order to be a peace mentally, your home and surroundings need to be at peace as well... at least for me they do. Otherwise I sit there thinking about all the things I need to do and just more and more anxious over doing them and become paralyzed by the anxiety to the point where dirty laundry will sit for weeks and I'm on the verge of turning my underwear inside out so I can keep ignoring the stinky pile of clothes begging to be washed.  (that may have been the longest sentence I've ever written without a comma.)

But anyways - The relief I feel from having done the work, the pride I feel at having the will power to get over my funk and just do it... It's wonderful.  Yeah I still feel a bit like pooh... but it's more of a good pooh... more like Winnie and less like #2.

But on those days when I really can't make myself face the dishes (or crumbs on the carpet from the girls sneaking a bag of potato chips into their room... they're grounded now BTW) I remember something my mama taught me.

Dishes are the most patient things in the world. They will sit and quietly wait for you until you are ready to do them. Laundry as well. Sometimes there are more important things that can use whatever attention I can muster up. And this poem reminds me of what one of things is...

UPDATED: In this corner, at 4'10 5/8"...

So, Not really sure what I'm going to write right this second, but I feel the need to post today.

I am myself at this moment. I LOVE feeling like myself.  Knowing who I am in my own skin.  Not feeling like something else is taking over and controlling me. I feel like most of the time I'm in a boxing match against the depression. Sometimes I can knock it down long enough to get something done.  Other times, I'm KO'ed in one hit and out for the rest of the match... But more and more often recently I have felt like myself.  I think this is mostly due to my crazy pill, but I'm hoping that with some big changes (mentioned previously) that I will be able to not need any medication to feel like myself.

Because I feel like me today, I'm going to get some cleaning done. Hopefully my house will be spotless before I go to bed tonight. Now that I've posted this on here, and on Facebook earlier today, maybe that will make me do it.  Can y'all hold me accountable? Everyone come over to inspect my home at 8! No, let's make it 10!  Come on over and see how clean my house will be.  There will be refreshments... served on the floor of course... because it will be clean enough to eat off of!

Okay, so enough procrastination. I'm off to clean while I'm me. Hope y'all are all having a good day today too. Here's hoping I've knocked out the depression long enough to get this crap done!

UPDATE:
http://thebloggess.com/2012/05/it-comes-around-and-around/
My hero posted this today... Making me even more grateful that I'm having a good day.

Also... The downstairs is spotless and the girls are falling asleep as I type.  So excited to get the upstairs cleaned and my craft corner set up in my room so I can sew. Maybe I'll even post some photos when I'm done. 

In an attempt to be more normal

I decided to make a Summer Bucket List with the girls.

I've seen tons of them all over and even tried to make one last year, but nothing really happened from it.

So I had an idea.  I need a way to see what our options are check it off easily.

So I came up with this...

I took some cute Butterfly shaped post-its and wrote one thing to do on each one then stuck them on our huge dry erase board. 

I also used my multi-colored sharpies to try and make it even cuter. 

To be honest, I don't really care what it looks like... it's our list and it's done. 

I'm thinking that on Sundays we'll decide what we're going to do that week and when... We only have like 60 something days til school starts back up, and I think there are over 60 things to do, so we probably won't get to all of them, but having the option to pick and choose makes me happy. Also, some of them we can do more than once, so we won't be removing it from our list once it's done.  Some of these are local places and some are general things to do. Some we'll invite friends along and some we won't. 

Anyways, Here's our Summer bucket list!

1. Visit opry Mills
2.  go to the Adventure Science Center
3. Go to Sonic in Nolensville for Happy Hour
4. Visit cool Springs Mall
5. Play in the Sand Box
6. Have a slumber party
7. Play dress up
8. Mamie Camp (the girls will go and spend the week with my mom ;) I'm excited about this one and so are they!)
9. Go to the Lake
10. Go to the zoo
11. swim in the backyard
12. Go to the harpeth River
13. Visit the Library for story time
14. Visit the new downtownn park
15. Visit the farmers market
16. Play with playdough
17. Go to Memphis
18. Visit Cane Ridge Park
19. Visit Beech Bend Park
20. Set up a tent in the yard and camp out
21. Go to a Sounds Baseball Game
22. Go to Chattanooga
23. Wash the cars
24. Ride bikes
25. Visit centennial park
26. Walk the dogs
27. Visit Mickey D's play place
28. Play at the School playground
29. Plant flowers
30. Read stories
31. Make a treat for some friends
32. Visit Chick-fil-A play place
33. Build a fort
34. Movie night at home
35. Lunch with Mrs. Evelyn
36. Go to the drive in
37. Play with sidewalk chalk
38. Go to the farm
39. Go see a movie ($2 theater)
40. Work on sight words
41. Visit the LDS Nashville Temple
42. Make mud pies
43. Play with Bubbles
44. Play hide and seek
45. Mani/Pedi's
46. Paint pictures
47. Have a treasure hunt
48. Feed the ducks
49. Visit a bounce house
50. Go bowling
51. Walk around the Opryland Hotel
52. Visit the splash pad
53. Slip n slide
54. Have a picnic
55. Take the Purity Dairy tour
56. Shaving Cream Slip n slide
57. Pick strawberries
58. Visit Moss Wright Park
59. Go to the library puppet show
60. Visit Cheekwood botanical gardens
61. Visit the Frist art museum
62. Fly kites
63. Play at the Bicentennial mall
64. go roller skating
65. visit the hermitage
66. make books
67. go get ice cream
68. paint faces
69. dance party
70. Putt putt golf
71. memorize articles of faith
72. go to kids kingdom
73. make bird houses
74. make sock puppets
75. have a yard sale
76. visit the fire department
77. have a tea party
78. go fishing
79. decorate shirts
80. catch fireflies

If you think of any other fun things to do this summer, please let me know. If you'd like to join us on any of these, let me know.  Hopefully this will keep me from hanging out on the couch all summer with the TV on.  Hopefully I'll have the will power!