Weekly Meal Plan Lists

Working on Grocery lists for this week, so I made some PDF files to help me out. What I do first is use the Coupon Shopping List to figure out all my coupons for the week. I then also go through our WIC vouchers and write them and my coupon shopping list on to our Master Grocery List. I use those two lists to come up with a weekly meal plan for our family using the Weekly Meal Plan list. I write down the extra ingredients I will need, and anything else that comes up. I then take those extra ingredients and add them to our Master list also. I hope this isn't too confusing for you. It's the easiest way for me plan it all out and have enough space to write it all (I don't think I could fit everything on one sheet.)

To download the files free for your own personal use, Just click on the links above or below.

Coupon Shopping List Download

Weekly Meal Plan and Grocery List Download

Master Grocery List Download

Enjoy!

Getting Back in the Game!

Handsome has been asking me for a while to start couponing again. I've done it for years, but when we moved into our house last year, I really dropped the ball and I haven't picked it back up in the past year. We have done a couple things recently to help save us  money on our grocery bill, but we need a bit more help.

So I have spent the past two days slowly clipping coupons and reorganizing my binder to get back into the game. I'm surprised at how many coupons I've actually saved recently. My binder is more full than I expected. So I've gone through a couple of my favorite websites (SouthernSavers.com is a great one) to help me match my current coupons with the current sales and I made one grocery list for the things that we can use. (I try not to get anything I won't actually use. There are some great deals out there, but it's stuff we'd never use, so what's the point in wasting my time on it?) Grocery list no. 1 done.

Then I went through our WIC vouchers (I spread them out through the month) and made a shopping list for them. Grocery list no. 2 done.

Then I made a meal menu plan keeping in mind what was on my first two grocery lists (I do plan out dinner every night, then just make a list of ideas for breakfast and lunch.) Then I thought through those recipes and made Grocery list no. 3.

(BTW, here's a couple recipes We're gonna try out the next couple weeks!)
Beef and Cheddar Casserole
Chicken Pot Pie
White Bean Chili

In all, I'll probably be going to three or four different stores, and shopping off my three separate grocery lists. I'm hoping to keep my total under $100. Not bad for two weeks worth of groceries for our family of 4. (Also, when I know ahead of time what's for dinner every night, and have a list of ideas for breakfast, lunch, and even snacks planned out as well, We spend MUCH MUCH MUCH less on eating out/fast food. Which helps save money as well!) But I know I can do better. We're hoping to get to the point where our monthly grocery spending is between $100 and $150. We'll see if I can get there. Like I said before, it's gonna take me another month or two or three before I really start saving extra money from the couponing. You've got to build up your stock not only of coupons, but also of the things you buy regularly.

Either way, It feels great to have a game plan for everything. Now I just have to find the time and energy to actually DO the shopping! Wish me luck!

Only getting crazier

I am now a superhero.

That's right. I can create people out of almost thin air. 

Okay, so I didn't do it totally alone. The Hubs may have helped a bit.

So I'm growing another human being right inside of my torso.

That alone is a pretty amazing ability. But I also have a few others now. I can throw up an insane amount of food... food that I know never entered my body. I can also smell things from nearly a mile away. And I can either sleep through anything, or not sleep at all, in spite of how tired I may be. I haven't quite learned how to make that one work for my benefit, but perhaps I will at some point. 

Thanks to this person growing inside me, my hormones have been a raging!!! I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry at car commercials. I cry at Christmas songs. I cry at movie previews. All this crying, it's no wonder I've had issues with dehydration.

It completely 100% makes sense though. If I think Mirena made me crazy... Or worsened my depression or whatever... and now my body has like 400x more of those hormones coursing through my veins... It's a wonder I am able to shower, get dressed, and behave like a normal (though sobbing) human being. 

But things are looking up. I'm in the second trimester now... which happens to be my absolute favorite of all the trimesters. My energy levels are getting back to normal a bit. Though I'm still throwing up every now and then, I can usually eat pretty well and keep it under control. I can't sleep 15 1/2 hours straight like I did a few weeks ago, but that's okay. I plan on not sleeping a whole lot for the next couple years anyways. 

This morning was one of those dramatic sob filled mornings where I call my mama in a blubbering mess, one of those where she can't even make sense of what I'm saying. It's all just one jumbled sob. The tot had to have some dental work done. Having to see your child go through any kind of discomfort is painful for a parent. I sat in that waiting room for an hour (I couldn't be back there with her because laughing gas is not good for pregnant people) trying to swallow the knot that had formed in the back of my throat. I was terrified that one of the nurses or someone would say something to me and I would just start sobbing uncontrollably and they would think that I am crazy. I may need to mention that before they took her back there, Tot told the dental assistant (or whoever they are) that I am "weird." I didn't want to confirm it for them. 

But on the way home, the flood gates opened and I called my mama. How in the world that woman managed to do this 7 times is beyond me. This is only my 3rd but will most definitely be my last. I've had a bit of an issue with really being grateful for this child. I know that it is a miracle and precious. But I think with all the sickness and everything, I just feel disconnected. I know I will adore whoever this little person is the second I meet him/her. After all, I'm still amazed at how much I love tot and moo. This little bean won't be any different. I just have to make it another 6 months... but I can do it, even if I sob the whole way there. 

Some Videos and a Link

I apologize that I haven't posted since Sunday. I'm still trying to get used to the girls being in school, writing my articles on www.dailybubble.com and just life in general.

Today, I'm a bit emotional... thank you hormones. Just what I needed. Any thing I would write today would probably only end up with me "going off" or me going into stuff y'all don't want to know anything about... Anyways... I'm not going to write too much today. Just share some stuffs.

My baby brother got engaged a little while ago. He re-wrote a popular song and sang it to his lady ;) Kinda cute.

 

He also sang "I'm Your's" before he sang the proposal song... 

(This song has a special place in my heart. My brother sang it to me at my baby shower when I was pregnant with my first little girl!  Also, both of those boys are my baby brothers ;) They're not too shabby huh?)

I found this hilarious video today about the town I grew up in... I'm not sure if it'd be funny to anyone except people who know the area, but I'm sharing it anyways... I'm proud of my hometown!

If you notice in the previous videos of my brothers, they're singing at "The Streets of Indian Lake" in front of that restaurant that's been closed for over a year! lol. I love H'ville!

And lastly, I'm hosting a 31 party for a friend of mine. This friend is awesome and has a crazy month ahead of her. My party is closing on Monday, but if you all are interested in a bag or something, please check out this site and help us out ;) I'll owe you big time!

Click here for my 31 party!

Thanks y'all! Have a great weekend!

My Invisible Friends

Okay... so I personally don't have invisible friends.  But my daughter does. I did not know this until last night on the way home from a baseball game and she started talking about her invisible friend... Tangled.

After she finished telling us about Tangled, I mentioned I'd never heard her talk about her Invisible Friends (imaginary friends... same thing. She calls them invisible because they're real to her, not imaginary... she just can't see them.) My husband said she's been talking about them for a little while now.

He actually said he freaked out a bit when she first started talking about them. He said he was worried she was "mentally broken."(I think he was joking... kinda) I CRACKED up laughing at this ... as someone who has felt mentally broken at times, this was just hilarious to me. Also at the fact that something that I thought was so NORMAL for a kid to do was something that troubled him.

Anyways, he said he actually googled about imaginary friends to see if our daughter was going to be weird or not (I'm actually all for having weird kids. Wouldn't bother me one bit.) Turns out, this whole imaginary friend thing is a big plus! Alot of kids with imaginary friends are very bright, creative, and can make excellent leaders later on in life (since they like being in control - hence making up friends where they dictate everything about that friend!)

I can totally see Moo being this type of kid. She's insanely creative, imaginative, and loves to be in charge. And I think this whole Invisible friend thing is actually kind of awesome. I want a few.

I want a gay invisible friend... a guy to tell me what to where, when to wear it, and compliment me endlessly on my looks. Though since he's made up in my mind, he'd really just be myself trying to talk myself into wearing the clothes I already own, and trying to make myself feel better when I feel I look frumpy.

I want an insanely confident invisible friend that does all those crazy things I want to do and don't have the courage (or balls) to do. This friend would rock. Her name would be Stevie and She'd dress just like Stevie Nicks... Total hippy. And she'd rock it too!

And I want an invisible encouragement fairy to follow me around constantly and take all the things I want to and tell me how I can do anything and can accomplish everything I want and just generally feed my brain full of awesome perky singsong pep talk. I'm picturing her a bit like the good witch from the wizard of oz, but rounder.

So, if you had an imaginary friend (or if you already do) what would he/she be like?

What would you do with your last day on earth?

(Sorry for not blogging... I told you school is starting... I'll be better about it all once that starts)

I was recently asked "What would you do with your very last day on earth, if you could go anywhere and do anything?"

Warning: My answer may bore the snot out of you... and you might not understand some of it if you're not LDS.

I have thought about this for the past 2-3 days... whenever the post was put up.  And I have come up with a few answers... Some make me pretty emotional. But as I've been thinking about it all, I tried to figure out what are my happiest memories. So here goes...

I would want to start my last day on a beach in the gulf coast. Something a little remote, cause I want this moment to be private. I want to sit and watch my hubby and our girls run and splash around and enjoy the sunrise and the rays on our skin and the dolphins off in the distance and the sounds of the water crashing onto the sand. I want to chase after them and have tickle wars and try and dunk Handsome and just enjoy my family in one of the most beautiful, relaxing places I've ever been.

Next comes food... at my mama's house. Everyone knows that nobody can cook like a southern mama. (Hence PAULA DEEN!) My mama is one of the best cooks EVER. Of course the menu would consist of Fried Okra, Fried Chicken (with her homemade honey mustard), Cucumber salad, Cornbread salad, maybe some of Big Mama's old recipes, and tons of other southern dishes. Oh, don't forget the sliced home grown tomatoes. (My mouth is watering just thinking about all of this food.) I would eat until I couldn't move.

I would go to the Nashville, TN LDS Temple where me and my Handsome were married and sealed for time and all eternity. I'd want to sit inside with him and talk about all our best memories... His crazy notes when we were dating, No lines at Disney World on our honey moon and then getting so sun burnt we couldn't move, our apartments, our home, Sady, our girls... How tiny they used to be, t-bone's "Ice", Moo's Buddha belly, how smart and beautiful they are... and forever - spending eternity with each other.

I would end my day on my mama's front porch... wrapped up in a blanket like she used to do with me when I was little and having troubles breathing. Me, Handsome, and our girls, would sit and watch the sun set and I would tell each of them how much I love them and why. And my day would end snuggled up with Handsome at home in bed.

Now that my eyes are all blurry and my throat is achy from trying not to cry... I want to ask you too, What would you do with your last day on Earth?  It can be anything... Handsome would go to Ireland to visit where his family came from. He'd want to experience as much of this world as he could in his last day of mortality. But what about you... Would you stay with what's comfortable? Spend time with family? Or do something you've always wanted, but never been able to? Like SkyDiving?

Also... I reserve the right to edit my answer at anytime ;)  There may be something awesome I'd want to do that I haven't thought about... Like maybe parasailing while we're there on the beach in the gulf... Yeah... I'd do that too.  Okay... Your turn!

Roger, the bird

We went to my parents house Saturday for a HUGE AWESOME event that I'm not allowed to talk about yet... if you're curious, ask me and I'll probably tell you (privately.) And when we pulled up and got out, I saw this little guy sitting in front of the garage door.

His name is Roger and he had a broken wing.

I called about 10 different places trying to find something open on a Saturday to take him in and get him help. Most places said they'd only euthanize him. Not an option for me. He seemed so healthy and lively... If he had looked bad, then yes, I think that would have been the compassionate thing to do. But Roger wanted to grow up. He has hopes and dreams man. (not sure Roger is a boy, but for the sake of this blog... he is. Plus I think he's so pretty, and aren't boy birds usually prettier than girl ones?)

Here you can see how he was holding his wing out.  It was so sad. Poor little guy was in pain for sure, but he was a fighter, a survivor. He's the most awesome bird ever.

We fed him some crackers (crumbled gold fish maybe?) I think he totally enjoyed them! We had to wait forever for a rehab center to finally call me back so we could take him there (it was a good 30 minutes or more from my parents house, which was already a 45 minute drive up there.) After a while, I was afraid of him getting dehydrated so we found this medicine dropper. At first he would NOT open that cute little beak of his. After a few times of putting the dropper up to his beak though, he learned that the water would come, and very quickly became enthusiastic about it. The second the saw that dropper he was like a newborn baby bird to a mama. His beak would open as wide as it could and he'd stretch that tiny neck up to get some water. It was so sweet. Roger definitely melted my heart.

He's great at taking photos also. 

Anyways, we left Roger (and a donation) at Walden's Puddle, an animal rehabilitation center here in Tennessee. They take in almost any animals native to Tennessee and some that aren't. I sat and talked with the girl at the desk for quite a while and learned all about their education program, where they travel around middle Tennessee teaching about the native animals. They have some special animals they take around with them also, including owls, raccoons, opposums, hawks, turtles, snakes, etc. I'm going to try to get something set up at my girls school and see if we can't get them to do an exhibit there this school year.

Anyways, Walden's Puddle does not charge for their services and they don't receive any Federal or State funding... it's all donations people. So if you have a few "doll hairs" you can spare, why don't you send them their way.  You can set up monthly donations or make a one time donation for any amount. I'm sure Roger will appreciate it!

I'm not sure we'll see Roger again. They were going to wrap him up to let his wing heal, then rehabilitate him back to the wild and then finally send him out into this wide world again. But I'm glad to know he'll be okay. Good Luck out there Roger!

My Hell (Warning: May Trigger) (With UPDATE)

I sat down an hour and a half ago to begin writing out a story. This story is my story. It's terrible, and haunting, and makes me sick to my stomach to think about.

I am damn proud of myself right now. I just finished writing 17 pages worth. There is more to write but I cannot manage anything else at the moment. I have most of the major stuff written... kinda. I have more ideas and thoughts swimming in my head, but I'm physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted. I feel as if I have been beaten up and broken and left bleeding on the pavement. But I'm still proud. A bit scared of what I may do til sleep comes and replaces the thoughts in my head with some much needed nonsense...

But I just had a thought... I'll probably dream about it, about what I just put on paper to try to help ease it all out of my head. I will probably dream about him. The more I've thought about it, the more literal my dreams have been... no longer verging on metaphorical, but being much more straight forward. And it's scary. I wake up most mornings feeling as if I had been molested during the night. It's hard to share a bed with my husband when that is going on. It's hard to sleep at all when that is going on. So I've been staying up til the sun is rising and my eyelids can't possibly stay open for another second. I know those dreams are just that... dreams. They are not real. The touching, abuse, and trauma from them is not real. But the feelings, the pain, the hurt... all that IS real. And it sticks around, ruining my days and leading only to more sleepless/nightmarish nights.

And here are the chills, up and down my spine as I think about it all, like his nasty fingers on me. The headache and stomach ache have been there since I first began writing nearly 2 hours ago. The chest pains have come and gone while I wrote, depending on where I was in the story.

I'm scared to even move. I know I'm on the edge. Do I try to take something to calm myself down? Do I wake Handsome and ask for his help in distracting me? Do I just accept that my night is going to be Hell and get on with getting it over with? It's difficult because I guess I knew this would come from bringing up so much of the story to the forefront of my mind, So I probably shouldn't be writing it in the middle of the night, so that I can protect myself from moments such as this. But at the same time, This is about the only time I can find the privacy and "flow" to write it out.

I need something uplifting. Something to completely redirect my thoughts. Something to get these images out of my head. Anything to get HIM out of my mind. At least tomorrow(later today) I will be able to see my therapist and hash some of this out. But again, that will result in keeping all this in the forefront of my mind, leave it swirling in there, and it will be a shadow on the rest of the day. And handsome will not be home tomorrow night to be my safety net to catch me if/when I fall to far into hell. But a friend will be stopping by. Maybe the whole purpose of planning our catch-up was divinely inspired, so that I would not be alone during this time.

The most random thing I can think to do to lift my spirits at the moment is a McDonald's Rolo McFlurry. I love those freakin things. And I want one, right now. My reward, for a hard job well done. But I'm afraid to go alone. If I'm alone, I will feel the shadows behind me in the car. Not even the radio on full blast will shoo them away. If I'm alone there may be thoughts of self-harm that creep in, and I'm trying to avoid them at all costs... especially after I lost my head a bit this evening and hurt my thumb in a fit.

So I could wake Handsome up and see if he would be willing to go get me one, or ride with me. Pregnant women do stuff like that all the time right?  I have one awful baby in my head that needs a McFlurry to calm down... Only I can't use the excuse that he made me like that, so he had to deal with it... The exact opposite is true. He tries so hard to be understanding, to help, to relieve as much of the pain as he can, to be exactly what I need him to be (though most times neither one of  us know what that is.)  So If I wake him up to help me, there will be guilt from him losing sleep. He has work tomorrow, and scout camp after that. He needs to sleep. I need to be stronger. But as I said before... I'm tired. That story wears me out... and maybe I should have stopped before I got too deep into it.

Regardless, I need to stop thinking about this and find a distraction. Not sure what I'll find yet, but something (anything) has got to help.

I also found this website tonight. (http://writingourselveswhole.org/)  If you're trying to write about traumatic experiences in your life, this is a great place to go and check out. It helped me get started tonight. Maybe it could help you as well.

****I've had a few messages from people on FB and emails and others just checking on me to make sure I'm doing okay. I'm great. I ended up waking Chris up and we went to McDonald's at 3 in the morning (and they were busy... WTHeck?)  Turns out they were cleaning their ice cream machine, so no McFlurry, but Handsome helped me get my mind off everything and we laughed and laughed and ended up turning on the Princess Bride when we got back home. So yeah... I'm good. Thank you all for your concern and for making sure I'm doing good. I appreciate it and love you all.

Not used to looking like this.

Most mornings when I wake up and look in the mirror, my only thought is,
"That will have to do."

I enjoy fixing my hair and doing my make up when I have somewhere to go or someone to see, but since I don't go or do anything, I hardly even get dressed, let alone fix myself up.

Today I had to make a video for a thing (maybe more to come on it later. Who knows. It's a secret... kinda.) and I didn't want to look like my usual frumpy mommy self. So I had my sister (who is a bit of a diva) come and fix my hair and make up.

Then she wanted to take some pictures and I went a bit crazy with it. I like 'em though. I feel like they look like me, even though I'm not really used to looking like this.

 this next one is one of my favorites. Not sure why. I just really like it.

 Here's another fav

 the one above and this one are also favorites. The one below may have to go on my banner.  Looks pretty crazy, if you ask me!

The Pivotal Moments

I went to see an old friend today. I haven't seen this gal in like 5 1/2 years. Last time I saw her was her wedding and I was preggers with T-bone. The way we met was interesting... destiny - to say the least.  Me and Handsome were bringing our friend, a recently single guy, to a church singles dance. We weren't supposed to be there, because we weren't single. There wasn't much point in him being there because he wasn't a member of our church at the time. But we all went. And there he met the woman who would soon become his wife, and later would be the mother of 3 of his children. And to think, he almost didn't go. And what if we hadn't invited him?

It's crazy to look back on life and see those very pivotal moments... the ones where lives change, where destiny steps in and sets things in motion.

There was one point in my life where I got a job out of convenience of location. It was right next to where my mom taught a bible study class every morning and since I didn't have a car, she could take me every morning and usually pick me up in the evening. There was no way to know all that would come out of that one job... I ended up being a teacher to a little boy who, along with his 2 older brothers, stole my heart. When I found out they were going to be separated in the foster care system, it tore me apart, and in turn, my parents ended up becoming foster parents for them in order to keep them together. My mom contacted our churches social services and found a couple who were interested in fostering and possibly adopting these little men. Many years and struggles and trials later, my little men have a wonderful mom and dad and have more love in their lives then they know what to do with. And it was because of a convenient job.

I feel like this year has been full of these tiny little moments all leading me down a path I would have never gone down on my own, all very pivotal in their own way. And there have been so  many people who have helped in leading me towards this path. I have no idea quite where this road is going, but I truly feel like it is where I'm meant to go. And I will follow it trusting that my Father in Heaven (or life or destiny or whatever you believe in) knows where I'm going and has a plan for me. I'm so excited to see where this road leads. It's been a pretty fun ride so far.

"We Can't Get Out!" NaBloPoMo July 9th

"Do you think it makes it okay to add "just kidding" after a surprising statement?"

Nah. Only if you're truly kidding.

Now, I don't have much to write about this prompt, so instead of that, I'm going to share a "kid" video.

This video cracks me up. My little girl, moo, had shut the door to my office. She couldn't turn the handle to open the door so she thought it was locked. She is SO dramatic. She's gonna grow up to be a little comedic actress! My favorite part is when she really tries to push it down. I can't help but crack up laughing everytime!

Enjoy!

My First Fellow Blogger Award

I received my first blog award and didn't even know it y'all! I finally realized it last night/this morning so here it is!



Thank you, thank you, thank you Crazy Mama (we have alot in common.) She can cuss like a sailor so all you mormon mommies have been warned. I think this is one of my favorite of her posts, and one of the first I ever read!

So here's the fun part...
The 11 questions are simple: choose one of each

Romance or historical - ROMANCE
Dystopia or Mystery - MYSTERY
Christian fiction or Sci-fiction - SCI-FI
Chick lit or Thriller - CHICK LIT
Poetry or Memoir - MEMOIR
Short stories or YA - YA
Historical Romance or Paranormal - PARANORMAL
Spiritual or Fantasy - SPIRITUAL
Cookbook or Health and Fitness - COOKBOOK
Erotic or Street Lit - STREET LIT
Super Hero or Fairy Tale - FAIRY TALE (with a cape)


11 Things about ME!
1) I hate the number 11, no really... phobia.
2) I'm constantly paranoid about what people are thinking.
3) I don't want to do anything today, but had planned on super cleaning my home. We'll see what happens.
4) My favorite sound in the world is my girls laughing.
5) I have a crush on my hubby
6) 3 is my favorite number ever. But I want 4 kids (an even number so everyone has someone to ride beside on a roller coaster.)
7) I've wanted to have another baby for a while, but now that it's almost time to start trying, I may be rethinking things.
8) I don't like to eat breakfast. It makes me sick.
9) I want to go to the library and find some good books, but I have a library fine that is hindering me from going.
10) Dr. Pepper is my boyfriend. I love it.
11) My baby is whining right now and It's driving me crazy. Seriously. I want her to go away. Not too far, just far enough that I can't hear the whining.


I have to answer 11 questions:
1) What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Well I was asked this question when I was a girl at girls camp (I'm still a girl, though no longer at girls camp.) Me and a friend tried to concoct the nastiest thing we could in order to win the Klondike bars. We threatened to give ourselves swirlies in the latrine. We won.
2) Paper or plastic?
This totally depends... But I'll go plastic. Takes longer to decompose, but it holds better.
3) 12/21/2012, what do you think?
I will be SO FREAKING SURPRISED if the world ends, but maybe something big happens.
4) Wanna dance?
OF COURSE! I love to dance, especially in my pajamas while I crank Prince and clean!
5) Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
Katie stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
6) Can you wash your hands in public?
Yeah, most of the time, but the stupid toilets that flush on their own tend to ignore me. Maybe my butt is not quite big enough yet... A couple more kids will fix that, I'm sure.
7) Who do you think you are?
Last time I checked I was Keaven. I'm still kinda crazy. Still Mormon. I still stay at home. I love to sew, draw, paint, crochet, dance, sing, laugh, tickle, play yahtzee in bed with the hubby, and way too much more to write. I'll blog about it all one day.
8) Ever been hypnotized?
Nope, but I would like to!
9) Describe your blog in a word.
Kooky
10) How bout mine?
Genius ;P
11) Count some of your blessings.
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six...
What? Is that not what you asked?
Fine. Here they are. This list is not all inclusive by any means cause we'd be here forever if it was...
My 2 beautiful smart daughters who make me laugh constantly.
My insanely attractive husband who also makes me laugh, especially when I don't want to.
Our beautiful home in the neighborhood we've talked about since we got married.
My calling at church.
My van we got from my parents.
Hubby's work, the security of it, how close it is.
Our 2 furbabies.
My family
My friends


I have 11 questions for my awardees:
1) If you could only keep one memory, what would it be?
2) Who is your best friend?
3) Do you act your age?
4) What is your favorite hobby?
5) Favorite food?
6) If you could speak another language fluently, which one would you speak?
7) Is the glass half empty or half full?
8) Google, Yahoo search, Bing?
9) If you could do or be anything (really ANYTHING) what would you do or be?
10) Who are your Heroes?
11) What is your favorite quality in another person?


The 3 bloggers lucky enough to win are:

Brittney at Boyfriend in my Pocket

Kelly at Princess & the Pi

Niven at The Diary of a Doormat

Just do what I did. Answer the first set of questions, then 11 things about yourself, then my questions for you. Then award 3 other blogs. Love y'all

The "Shirt" Skirt

Here is my moo.

She is wearing her "shirt" skirt. You may be wondering what in the world is a "shirt" skirt. Well, It's a skirt that is actually a shirt. (She's holding up the sleeves of the shirt!)

About a year ago, we gave Moo (Mad-dog, whatever you want to call her) all of T-bone's hand-me-downs and this shirt was included. It's a real cute, satin, peasant cut top. Moo IMMEDIATELY loved this shirt, but would only wear it around her waist as a skirt (the neck of the shirt has elastic in it, so it will fit around her waist.) At first I kept getting on to her for it. She was ruining a super cute shirt, one of my favorites for her to wear. After fighting over this for a couple months, I finally realized that it was just a shirt... or just a "shirt" skirt. I gave in and let Moo start wearing this shirt as her favorite skirt. And she wears it ALL the time! Instead of fighting and us both getting annoyed and frustrated, I let her wear it, but only around the house. And ONLY when it's clean... that's the biggest issue now. I have to wash it at some point!

Also, I realized as I was taking a picture of the "shirt" skirt that Moo had put on numerous shirts while she was dressing herself.  

Yup, there are 4 different shirts on that girl... 5 counting her skirt. I love my crazy little girl. 

 And while I was taking these photos off my iPod for this post, I found this photo on there... 

and about 50 more just like it. I guess some one was playing with Mommy's iPod earlier today! At least this was kinda cute!

Depth of Feelings

I was thinking the other day about how bad I feel sometimes. It is overwhelming. It effects everything about me, my thoughts, my speech, my demeanor, my looks, my posture, how I treat myself and those around me... Sometimes it hurts so much that I would rather be done with life than to continue feeling that bad.
(I AM NOT SUICIDAL. AT NO POINT HAVE I WANTED TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE!  Hurt so badly that I ache for the pain to stop, however that has to happen, yes... but end my life on my own? Nope. And that's not what this post is about anyways.) I have numerous times felt so horrible all I could do was curl up and cry, and not just crying to myself, but down on the floor in the fetal position sobbing so hard my entire body is shaking.

I've had so many people think that I'm just sad sometimes. I'm not sad sometimes. The heartbreak that I feel is not like some teenage girl trying to get over a crush. My whole soul wrenches. It aches. It pleads for peace, for a moment's peace... just a millisecond of hope to help me get through. Nothing really helps in those moments of complete despair and darkness. I can pray, receive blessings, try to read scriptures, try to talk about it, but usually it just has to pass. All I can do is to endure to the end.

I am not a sad person. I am not a depressed person. I am a happy person who happens to struggle with a disease. But I am kinda grateful in some ways for that disease. Because I have felt such pain, heartbreak, despair, darkness, I can celebrate the times I have happiness and peace and joy and laughter. I can be furiously happy and laugh my ass off at the hilarity of life because I have known the opposite. And to be honest, I think I would rather feel the extremes than to just kind of hang somewhere in the middle. I've been there (thanks to drugs) and did not like it.

I will take the tears, the hurt, the ache if it means I can laugh til my stomach hurts, I can be happy for those days where my mind is my own. I can dance around my home like an idiot and enjoy how good it feels to just be alive with my gorgeous little girls and my incredibly sexy husband. I can love the things in this life that make me happy and not be embarrassed by them or by who I am.

I have wondered over and over again why it is that I have to struggle with such a hard disease. It's not like there's one simple answer out there to make me better. Like with my Asthma, I have an attack, I use my inhaler, end of story. I know that cats trigger it so I stay away from them. It's easy. It's fixable. Depression is so much different. Yes there is medication, but often the side effects can be as bad as the symptoms. I have not taken an antidepressant in a month, yet I'm still having "brain shivers" from coming off of them. I don't want the meds. I don't want the side effects. I don't want to feel numb. If I have to feel this pain in order to feel the joy and happiness that I have had, then so be it. I will endure to the end. I will not give up, and I will also continue to appreciate the little things in this life that make me furiously happy.

The heart break that I feel sometimes is not just me feeling sad.

Writing day 5... Getting bored with it

There I said it... I'm getting bored with these prompts. Seriously...


"Do you come out and admit it when you're joking around, or do you leave people wondering?"


What the??? What kind of question is that? What's the relevancy? Whatever... I'll answer it. (I'm thinking I'm just extra tired and cranky at the moment. Don't take anything that will be said personally.)


I think I do generally admit when I'm joking... Like "Just Kidding... You're face doesn't actually look like a bull just crapped on it." Also, not admitting that I'm joking or, uh... that made it sound like I was saying "NO I wasn't joking" when I was. Let me start that sentence over. By not coming out and saying that YES I AM JOKING, I have started a couple arguments in my marriage. I think this usually happens when we're both tired. One of us is just tired and cranky and DONE and the other one is all butt crack slap happy and tries to make a joke about some random crap and then the other one takes it seriously at first and makes a snappy reply to which to the first one gets defensive and starts getting serious just when the second one realizes it was a joke and then tries to joke back, but OH NO, it's too late cause the second one already went and got all serious on the first one's ass... Yeah... Me and the hubs don't do this very often. 
...
What? 
... 
Okay, So maybe we do! GOSH. Why do have to point out what an awful marriage I have.  JUST KIDDING!!!!


hahahahahaha... I just made myself laugh... for reals. That was an ACTUAL LOL!!!


Okay... so I've gone from cranky tired to slap happy tired in the past few minutes. 
Maybe this post wasn't such a stupid idea after all.


(I was totally gonna schedule this post to post on Friday then I looked at the clock and guess what? It is totally friday so I'm just gonna post it now suckas! Then I'm gonna go hit the hay! Night ya'll!)

1st Annual Mommy Blogger Scholarship

So, I just found this on Twitter...

The 1st Annual Mommy Blogger Scholarship

(please note the badge on the right side of this blog... it may be towards the bottom)

As a new "mommy blogger", I think this scholarship thing is AMAZING and just finished my application. I wanted to share a bit of it with you if you don't mind...

The very last question on the application was

"What do you need most as a mother?"

And my response?

Charity - pure unconditional love.

I need this from the mothers around me - Do not judge me because I don't mother the same way you do. Do not judge me because my kids get high fructose corn syrup. ;) Love me because we are sisters. Love me because we both understand what it feels like to have our hearts and souls walking around outside our bodies. Love me because I need to know that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one who's ever just thrown a towel on a pee stained bed and waited til morning to take the sheets off, that I'm not the only one who has gotten so frustrated at my kids I wanted to drop kick them. I need to know that I'm not the only one who would lose it all if I ever lost my children.

I need Charity from my children. I need for them to love me no matter what. Love me when I lose my patience. Understand that I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best. Love me when I struggle to get off the couch to make them breakfast. Love me because I tease them about being zombies and bite their pudgy little cheeks. Love me for making them stick to their responsibilities and for not doing things for them that they can do for themselves.

I need This kind of love from my husband. I need him to support me... again understand that I'm not perfect. I need him to feel just as passionately about me as I do him. I need him to realize that the number one way to take care of our children is to take care of each other. I need him to be forgiving when the dishes and laundry aren't done. I need him to not care about the chaos of having 9 of our nieces and nephews spend the night, and for him to jump in and play right along with me and the kids. I need him to love me in spite of my depression and anxiety, my constant questioning of him. I need him to love me for my craziness. I need to know he will always be there, right beside me, supporting me, as I support him.

I need Charity from myself - and this is the hardest one of all.  I know my faults, my weaknesses, my desires, how often I give in, how often I feel guilt. I don't feel worth of those around me, my friends, my family, my children, my husband - heck even my house and my dogs. Being able to love myself regardless of all these things is one of the hardest at all, but the most desperately needed. You must love and take care of yourself in order to love and take care of others. It's not being selfish... it's appreciating this wonderful gift of life that you've been given. It's hardest to be compassionate and understanding with yourself, but it's the most crucial. This is something I have been learning over the past few months, and have tried to include in my blog. It's something I want other mothers/women/girls/humans to realize.

Love is what I need most. With that love from those around me and myself, I can do what I need to do to be the mother/woman/human I want to be (not perfect, but trying my hardest.)

If you are also a fellow mommy blogger, go check out the scholarship and apply.  It couldn't hurt, right?

Pranking...

Today's NaBloPoMo prompt is "Talk about the best prank you ever pulled."  


I'm not really sure that I've ever truly pulled a prank. But here's the closest I've ever come.


Years ago (okay, so it was a decade ago... holy crap I just felt old) there were these missionaries who were serving in my parents church. They were two young men... one about 23 or so and the other was 19. I had been having a very difficult time in life and became very great friends with these fellows. We would have some great talks that lasted way too late, and we wrote back and forth at least once a week.  These guys played a very significant role in me turning my life around at a crucial moment. 


Anyways - my mom taught an early morning bible study class to high school students called Seminary. These missionaries would come all the time. I think my mom became a bit like a mom away from home to them. We pretty much adopted these guys into our family. I'm not quite sure how it all got started, but we ended up pranking each other back and forth. They would do something to get my mom, we would do something to get them back. 


I think at one point they filled large cans full of dry beans and set them on top of one my mom's cabinets, or right inside the door, so when she opened it, they went flying EVERYWHERE. It wasn't hard to get these guys back... They left their apartment unlocked - ALWAYS... (me and some other friends even snuck in in the middle of the night one night to bring them a christmas tree while they slept. They weren't very smart about safety.)  So me and my mom and my sister loaded up a bunch of stuff and drove over to their apartment. And we rigged it.  My mom smothered their toilet in molasses... I think we may have done powdered sugar on their sheets... or maybe corn flakes.  We even went through their clothes and set up a dummy on their couch using a basketball as the head so they'd be freaked out when they came home and saw this person sitting there. 


We got the guys pretty good. They ended up taking a photo with the dummy we made while they held up a sign saying they were going to get us back. 


I remember them asking me to help them get my mom back and of course I obliged. They wanted a picture of my mama's booty. So one day after my mom was done teaching her class I grabbed her and hugged her and pulled top half down so that her butt was up in the air. I wasn't quite sure what they had planned to do with the photos but it wasn't too long after that they came back to class one day wearing some very special shirts they had had made... Featuring my mama's booty all blown up and saying "WE LOVE BECKYE!" <--(my mama if you couldn't figure that out.) 


I still consider those guys some of my best friends and pretty much family. We had a blast hanging out with them and I will always smile when I look back on those times.

I found photo evidence of the shirt these guys made of my moms behind

My Zombie Family

If you didn't know... I'm a Zombie Mommy.  That's right... a ZOMBIE MOMMY.  And I have Zombie Children. Just ask them. They'll tell you. I'm a zombie mom cause I bite* them, and they're zombie children cause they like to bite their friends.  We even have changed the words of a beloved church primary song from "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam" to "Jesus wants me for a ZOMBIE" and it includes the line, "in every way try to eat them... at home, at school, at play."

I love to bite Mad-dog and I tell her it's cause she's "juicy."  Hearing her chubby little face say "Cause I'm Jew-See" melts my heart. 

*Now I don't honestly BITE my children.  I tease them about biting them. And they don't bite their friends... at least they haven't  yet. I think they understand that all this zombie talk is a joke... but again, they're only 3 and 5, so who knows!

The point of this post???

I found this at the mall yesterday...

I about peed my pants I was SO excited. I HAD to buy it. 

I even stood barefoot on so hot it was melting pavement just to put it on my car today before church.

(kinda ironic in a way, right?)

The set only had one dog, though we have two... so that one sticker has to represent for both our beagles! 

Also, when we add more zombies to our little family, I've got the extra stickers for them! Woohoo.

I love my little zombie family. I love that they let me have my weird way... Especially my zombie hubby.  I'm sure when he was younger and imagined his future wife he was not imagining her pretending to be a zombie... but I think he loves me in spite of my craziness... or maybe even for it ;)

Bonus - if the zombie apocalypse ever really happens, I think we'll totally be safe cause of these stickers... whatcha think?

Brain Overload

Yesterday was rough. Anyone who is my friend on FB or Twitter can vouch for me. 

I'm feeling much better, but the roughness is still lingering in the back of my mind, along with all the normal craziness. I got out of bed today around 3... PM. I've been sitting on the computer since then. My stomach and head hurts from no food, but I'm waiting til we all eat dinner together. 

My happy thought for the day, Magic Mike.

I will be seeing it tonight with a great friend. 

We both need the break. 

So my brain is on overload, but I can't wait to shut it off and enjoy a trashy movie with great lady. 

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend. 

UPDATED: Double U - I - O - Wah!

(If you can be the first to name where the title to this blog came from, I'll send you a surprise! Just comment with where you think I stole it from and also your email so I can let you know if you get the surprise! If no one gets it soon, I'll add clues.)


I went to Iowa this weekend with my dad, sister and girls. My daughters got to meet their great grandmothers for the first time. It was an awesome trip, but I'm trying to recover from it. Apparently I'm allergic to Iowa.

They talk VERY WEIRD. It's not a cold drink, soda, or coke... It's pop.  That wasn't news to me, but still weird. Also they call a Sloppy Joe a Maid Rite... what the heck! Anyone else ever heard of that or say that? It's better than a loose beef sandwich which is another term my dad uses for Sloppy Joe. Call it that and I won't touch it with a 10 foot pole.  That just sounds NASTY.

Moving on... This isn't a real post. Just to say I'm trying to recover from the 72 hour trip (24 of it driving there and back) so don't expect too much from me over the next few days. Hopefully it won't take me too long to recoup.

Don't forget to leave your comment about the blog title!

UPDATE**
So I had two friends who guessed the answer correctly.  The correct answer is the Backyardigans. I think that episode was one of my favorites, mainly because we have made fun of my dad for YEARS for being from IOWA and how there is NOTHING there but corn. Anyways, Two winners... One on Facebook and one on here... so you're both getting surprises! Nashville Canuck - I need your address. You can email it to me at keavenneely@gmail.com